The Psychology of Fat Loss | Steps to Overcome the Mental Barriers

okay self-doubt is kind of the killer of of Dreams in a lot of ways how can people overcome self-doubt when it comes down to taking on their weight loss Journey when it comes down to weight loss when it comes down to nutrition exercise got Jennifer Cohen here can you give us give us a breakdown what is self-doubt how do people get around it how is it good how is it bad I want to mention I popped a 30 off discount link down below for Thrive market now Thrive Market is an online grocery store but it's not like a regular grocery store it's set up by different diet categories okay so you've got keto you've got vegan you've got paleo you've got different diet categories so it allows you to get the best quality foods okay no preservatives no garbage you can stock up your whole house not just your pantry they have sustainable Meat and seafood options so you can stock up your fridge they're working on really cool options as well so you're looking at just everything you can get in a store 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the way we it we eliminate self-doubt is by being bold in our lives and we need to build this bold muscle which to me is a skill so people always say well if I'm not bold how can I be more bold and the truth is you don't have to be born bold boldness is a skill that you can harness like anything else in life and you do it by making these bold moves daily like if you want to get fit in the gym right or you go to the gym and you you're consistent and you practice it it's the same with being bold you have to work it you got to practice it and you harness it and that's really the first step and then from there you do it over and over again and you eliminate yourself doubt by constantly doing these bold moves daily where then you're you're stopping yourself from the stop so you're stopping yourself from the start so we then train our brains to go for things to ask for what we want to make these goals and and then and then try to crush those goals so what do you mean when someone needs to be bold be louder be more like what what is bold so it's funny because boldness has a really negative connotation right people think being bold is being Brash or aggressive rude and that's really like that that that type of uh verbiage to me is so contrary to how I stay bold to me what bold is is when you stand up for yourself and when you ask for the things you actually want and when you actually cultivate and you're deliberate about doing things so what I say people is like Chase like Chase what you want don't just take what you get and a lot of times in life we just acquiesce to what's convenient and we just take the good enough as opposed to being much more deliberate in creating the life that we want for ourselves and the way we create the life that we want is by being bold and asking for that and being unbashedly okay with being audacious so to me like having the audacity to think that you can to having the audacity to think like you know why not me to me that's how you live a life that's more authentic and that's how you self-actualize in the world and how you overcome self-doubt is by being audacious and living boldly and practicing the skill of boldness and you do that by doing something daily making bold moves every day to get better at being Bolder you don't have to be born bold but you have to practice being bold as you would practice any other skill in the world okay I want to come back in a minute to like tactical things that people can do to practice being bold but I also want to come back to what is self-doubt at its core is self-doubt different than negative self-talk is self-doubt different than self-love what would you consider self-doubt self-doubt to me is when you think that you're not good enough you're not pretty enough you're not smart enough you're not handsome enough like you think of all the things that you are not enough in versus thinking that you know you why not me um you know why you know it can happen this person why can it happen to me having self-esteem having the confidence having the self-assuredness to try and attempt at something it's the way we speak to ourselves and how we genuinely think not this nonsense of affirmation talk like I'm wonderful so therefore yes I'm wonderful no it doesn't work that way to me those affirmations are a bunch of nonsense if we genuinely deep down don't feel those things so to me what real self self-doubt is the opposite of self-confidence and so if you don't want to have self-doubt you have to build up self-esteem and self-confidence and you do that by putting yourself in situations uh where you speak up for yourself where you create these little bold moves where you are actually getting closer to who you really are by asking for what you want as opposed to just like sitting back and just accepting what's in front of you it's about making a commitment to yourself and fulfilling that commitment and seeing that little you know that little feeling of accomplishment that I you did it and it's it's not these big things that make you confident it's like really it's like these little little little moves that accumulate over time and compound over time and that is literally how you get yourself out of your own way and become the person that you want to be so the nice thing about self-doubt and tackling self-doubt is you're sort of tackling the engine itself that would allow you to propel yourself forward like self-doubt is almost like it's almost like a faulty system in the engine it's like it really does prevent the engine from driving you forward whereas like if you talk about affirmations you talk about this you know positivity and things like that you're just sort of masquerading the issue and you might be able to I always say prefrontal cortex your way through a little bit of stuff you kind of will power your way through some stuff but that's such a such a finite resource like our our ability to willpower our way through something and if you actually conquer that self-doubt then motivation and all that just comes naturally well let me say this I agree with you first of all I don't think that willpower or even motivation are things that people should lean on for True success in life right because they will flail right you could have motivation and sometimes in life and then other times not you can have willpower Until It Breaks right those are not things that you should stand on to actually get from point A to point B to me it's more about discipline if you want to know the truth discipline is a much better thing to rely on than motivation and you build discipline by creating habits that you do day in and day out and through that it becomes your second nature and therefore it becomes that's what happens self-doubt to me is the complete opposite of self-love and self-confidence and self-esteem so if you want to eliminate self-doubt the only way to do that is to build up the self-esteem the self-confidence and the self-love the only way to do that is not looking outside but looking inside and then creating ways for you to do that by making little little moves like the like the confidence is built with commitment you make a commitment to yourself you execute on that commitment you accomplish that commitment and voila you have a little bit more self-confidence today than you had yesterday you keep on doing that over and over again and the neuroplasticity in your brain eventually changes the self-talk changes from negative to positive and then that's how you start getting out of your own way what are some sort of Rapid Fire bold moves that people can make because it might be a lot for people to swallow to think like oh my gosh I gotta suddenly just be bold like what are some examples of just Little habits little bold things that people can start doing right now like right after they watch this video right after they watch this video I want them to go to a restaurant and when they order their meal ask for the salad dressing on the side or ask for vegetables instead of the potatoes not because they're big moves they're very small but a lot of people don't even want to ask for those little things so my thing is if you can't get comfortable asking for those little things how are you going to get comfortable asking for the big things and even today people are still uncomfortable with that because they don't want to make a fuss they don't want to be rude they don't want to put someone out so they kind of hold those things in and just take whatever's available or whatever they get like how many times have you gone to a restaurant and the food ended up they gave you food that was cooled like cold soup or like the food was lukewarm when it should have been hot and you know you're like yeah you know instead of setting it back I'm just gonna like eat it I don't want to make I don't want to bother anybody I don't want to be that new sense of a person and you just kind of eat it instead of doing that maybe like next time time you know hold your hand up and like ask the server you know and then and always be polite and and nice but like stand up for yourself and tell them that the food is cold something even as small as that makes a difference and that compounds over time it could be another example and remember these are small little things that daily happen that build up that bold muscle you can ask you know call yourself service provider you know we've been paying the same bill yourself your cell phone bill you've probably been paying the same amount for like years already without knowing any of the plans that are available right what if you called up your cell phone provider and said listen do you have any better deals for me you know what what do you have available what are some of the things that you have you'd be shocked at what happens nine out of ten times you will get a cheaper a cheaper cell plan step phone plan than you had before by just making that call by just making that ask it's doing these things that are like putting yourself in a situation where you're like you you are standing in your in your you're you're standing up for yourself you're asking for what you want you're curating what you want go to go to a local coffee shop and ask if they have any local discounts these are just little small little ways that we can start being a little bit Bolder in our life like most people by the way when they go on dates and they they have relationships it's because someone at like someone asks them out and so they said yes and then they went on their merry way versus being much more deliberate and conscientious and being like you know what I really like that person I'm going to make the move so what I say to people be the first be the first one to make that move in anything when you want a job in life right don't just like go on to LinkedIn and see what's available be much more deliberate right like look at a company that you've really really respected you really like and why don't you call that company or like contact that company so my entire my entire philosophy is about this idea of Designing and curating a life that is much more authentic to who you really are versus just kind of just walk you through life accepting whatever just became available to you yeah that's what really it's about you're honestly almost like being boldly curious you know and asking not being afraid to ask questions either yeah exactly curiosity is a major sister or cousin to being bold they go a lot of it goes hand in hand yeah it's I've definitely noticed even just in the in the scientific realm it's I've had to put aside a lot of what where I was lacking confidence to be more bold and reach across the aisle and have different opinions and different nutritional mindsets come on this channel and try to open my eyes to different things and it's amazing what's on the other side of that yeah it's amazing what those little steps of boldness in that category have done for my levels of self-confidence where now I'm willing to try different things and oh my gosh my world has opened up and it's like it's unlocked this whole different section of the brain and I guess to bring it right back to home for people that are working on weight loss people that are just trying to make a change a lot of times it is that self-doubt that's standing in their way they don't realize it they think okay it's just difficult it's it's tactfully difficult like I cannot like do these little things there's too much going on in reality like if it's important to you and your confidence is high enough you will do it and when your confidence is high enough and you've overcome that self-doubt through these little bold moves walking into the gym and concerning yourself whether people are looking at you or not is becomes a much smaller thing well not only that I think we we get we get stuck and we get on our own way all the time if you really want to break it down you know the reality is nobody's looking at you when you go to the gym everybody is too concerned with themselves and checking themselves out that they're not even paying attention to you and so we create these stories in our heads of what's happening and what what people are thinking and everything when people are people are so preoccupied with their own lives and what's going on with them and staring at themselves they're not even paying attention to you so if we could stop that that ability to kind of create these these like untruths in our own brain brain that create all this self-doubt in ourselves we would be all so much more better and we would be way better off right like no one cares what you're doing like like don't do the compare game and we we change these things a lot like we we are our own worst enemies and that's example of what you just said is exactly what happens all the time we think that we don't look at we don't look as good as the other person we don't have the same abilities our bodies are not genetically okay to do that the reality is you have to think to yourself you know why not me as opposed to like why me you know like why me what's not going to happen for me be audacious be bold and think why not me if that if that person could do it why can't I you know like that's how you have to think about it and you get that way by building that self-confidence and building your self-esteem by making these commitments and then following through the follow-through in life is so important it's like so important for your own sense of self and for your own sense of character you know we were saying earlier before this about like you know one of my biggest pet peeves in Life or it's when people say and then they don't follow through it's like what kind of person are you what kind of character are you when you're unable to even follow through to yourself or to what of that value system don't be that person if you are a person of integrity and a person that really wants to be authentic and live this certain life and be a certain person the sky is the limit you can do all of that you can be all of that by just following through make the commitment follow through execute and you'd be amazed at how you build that self-esteem that's perfect I think just if people can literally make a contract with themselves and sometimes that's what it takes yes literally literally writing down a contract if that's how your brain works having that commitment having that follow-through getting that dopamine hit when you actually do complete something that you set out to do maybe it's been so long since you've ever done that that you don't realize what it feels like that it feels good to follow through absolutely I'm gonna go to the gym for 15 minutes tomorrow you actually do it you check that box don't lie to me when you say that you know that doesn't feel good right that feels good you check that box and it's those little things that add up so uh Jennifer where can everyone find you they can find me on uh on Instagram the real Jen Cohen Tick Tock all the channels YouTube um and they can find my book at Amazon they can go to jennifercoin.com their website all the things and they can sign up for my newsletter too awesome well great well all that I'll link Down Below in the description and Jennifer thanks for hopping on thank you

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